Remember ! All that matters is - Your Mental Health ..

Life has changed me drastically year over the years as phases of my life changed from the
childhood to the adulthood and now moving towards the remaining.

It has evolved in terms of my existence with the rest of the Society from

dependence on the family, relatives and friends and a drive to pursue this happiness

among those surrounding me to finding that inner peace and giving utmost priority to self mental health.

“A happy you creates happiness around you” - we have been hearing this through

various sources of monks, psychology, thoughts for the day quotes and what not. 

What does that mean for me really? That means -  

caring less about my impression on the others, 

feeling less scared of society judging me, 

not trying harder to please everyone, 

not trying harder to fit others in my equation and forcing my expectations on them, 

not trying harder to make or break connections,

not trying harder to follow someone or to look into others' lives,

and most importantly taking a pause to answer a simple question every single time - 

is my action resulting into mental peace or happiness at all? 

Saying all of the above is easy, but implementing? Much much tougher!

The work is not done, it is in progress but so far the results have been amazing!

So why am I writing about this?

It might help someone who is in the same boat that I am sailing through to make it a habit to

work on your happiness. Yes, this is a strict regime. It is like that strict diet you want to follow to

get physically fit, as critical as our daily food intake.

Yes there are things that need to be accompanied with this regime such as eating habits/physical

fitness/yoga/meditation etc.

But the very basic simple step for everything that you do - ask yourself that critical question.

Is this going to end in your mental peace? I would love to give some typical examples that

I have experienced. 

Thinking about someone that does not make you happy, thinking about talking to them,

thinking about visiting them ? May it be your relatives, your friends, colleagues.

Consciously stop thinking.

Consciously tell your mind that it does not make you happy -

move on to doing something else.

It is okay not to talk, not to visit, not to think! May it be any person really.

Remember, all that matters is your mental peace!

Try to do anything that you can to save it.

Your mind will resist the first few times, but it can be trained.

It will get used to this negative filtering soon.

Thinking about some situation in the past that made you feel embarrassed?

Face it, tell yourself it is okay. You are a human being, even if you did anything wrong -

it is perfectly fine as long as you are not harming someone’s life.

Anything that doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger. You dealt with embarrassment,

you came out of it and you are living ! that's all that matters.

The moment it comes in your thoughts, tell your mind that you dealt with it and

you are living fine now - so stop reminding me of this. 

Thinking about something that you really want to do but can not do because of xyz reasons?

You want to take any classes, any professional decisions, any activities, literally anything.

Visit those xyz reasons and deprioritize them.

As long as you are not impacting anyone’s life gravely -

nothing can be as a higher of a priority as

your pursuit of happiness. Do it now, do it today. Delay and deprioritize everything else.

May it be social connections, attending events, anything. Delay!

Asking for forgiveness - is something bothering you in terms of your past actions?

Ask for forgiveness right away. If living, directly to the person, if not in your mind accept it.

There is no other satisfactory feeling like being honest about your mistakes,

accepting those and asking for forgiveness. Carrying the guilt never helps,

asking for forgiveness always gets rid of that guilt. Get yourself confronted,

do the right right now. Whether the person forgives or not, that is not your job to decide.

That is not your job to guess. Your job is to simply accept your mistakes, admit them,

decide not to repeat them and move on. 

Thinking of taking revenge or seeking for punishments - stop there.

You are no one to punish anyone for their did.

Someone stopped talking to you, stopped connecting, did something that you

did not like, judged you - it is okay, it happens.

Everyone here is a human and not the perfect god. When you seek for revenge or punishments,

you really dig yourself a grave of anger, disappointment, jealousy and negativity.

Everyone has their own life and path, if they misbehaved they might face the

consequences some other way or they may not. What is important for you is you do not

punish yourself for that by focusing your thinking on those. Move on.

Quickly get rid of such people, fail fast - be strong.

If removing such people from your life makes you stop thinking about them - do it.

You genuinely have to move on and not just show! 

Critical point here is to focus on your happiness without relying on others for that.

You were born alone, you will die alone.

The time that you depend on anyone for happiness - remind yourself that you are going in

the wrong direction. Our core relations with parents, siblings, spouse, children, friends are natural.

Engaging emotions, setting some expectations are natural.

But the moment that starts getting above your self happiness, the moment it makes you

rely on someone for finding your inner peace, In my opinion you are going horribly wrong.

May it be your spouse, may it be your child or may it be your best friend.

Relying on anyone for your happiness, your inner peace is a grave mistake.

If you are happy on your own, you will really make every relation associated with you happy.

You will make that relation pure without extreme expectations,

without any exchanges of emotions for happiness and a pure relation that will be cherished forever.

That will make you find your own identity and will make you complete.

Trying to focus on self happiness is really the key.

Some of your decisions will make others unhappy in the short term that could involve your loved ones,

your friends, your colleagues but it is okay as long as the decision are about you.

There is simply no guilt that can be associated in trying to find a peaceful mental life and

hence health and happiness. 

More I grew, more I realized that life is time bounded. You really have X days to live.

That X could be literally any value. The more we realize that we are mortal, we prioritize our life

to do what makes us happy. To live it fully. To filter noise, to filter other things that are

absolutely redundant. I have realized it but I have a long journey to travel to reach that ideal point -

finding my inner peace. Making every relation with me pure and natural. Filtering noise and living

my life fully And I will make sure to be there. I hope to see you there too :)

It is not selfish, it is in fact helping to create a happy surrounding and impacting lives around

you positively. No one, simply no one stands above your own mental peace.

So prioritize it above everything and everyone!

Remember.. All that matters is your mental health, your happiness and your inner peace!